Super Groovy Birthday Gift

I only finished one project this week, but it was a doozy.  Remember the "Super Groovy Tote" bag I showed two weeks ago?  Well it's matched purse is now complete.  My friend's birthday is today and my plan had always been to make her a matched tote bag and purse.

 I made a few changes to the original "10 Strip Wonder Bag" pattern as I went along.

1. The original directions didn't call for quilting the lining fabric to the fusible fleece, but I thought (rightly) it would look better quilted.  So I took about 90 minutes to mark, quilt, and erase my markings on the lining halves.  Then I got to work on other things whilst the fabric dried.

2. The number of pockets the designer planned for just didn't seem like enough.  I added more and even made one with a gusset and a Velcro flap.  It's the one with three green buttons on it.

3. The original lacked a zipper.  I can see a tote bag not having a zipper, but a purse doesn't seem right without either a zipper or a full-sized flap to hold all one's "stuff" inside.  Happily I had a zipper that was the correct color green in my box o' zippers.  Now my friend can choose whether or not it gets zipped shut or just utilizes the button flap.

I did have two snooper-visors whilst I worked.  I warned them that if they "helped" then they had to pose for pictures.  Pollux had the grace to stay sleeping upstairs whilst I worked, the old sweetheart. 

See you all next week!

Shaded View and A Wedding Gift

"Shaded View" is what I'm calling my tote bag.  I used the same pattern as the others and the last of the strips from the Bali pop.  The fabrics made me think of a lone tree branch in one's view as one looks at the sky on a sunny day.  I fell in love with the piece I used for the contrast strip and built the bag around it.

I also have an older finish to share.  One of our veterinarians missed the holiday party because she'd left to be married.  This is the same vet who conspired to get Artie into our family, so she has a special place in my heart.  She's also the owner of "Flowerpot Kitty" and one of the Yellow Kitty ornaments.

After forming a conspiracy of my own with the ladies who work in the office and the vet techs, I had his initials.  Hers are on her business cards and another vet supplied the date in conversation.  Then I needed a design.  I found a little bridal bouquet motif in one book, but changed the colors to fit better with a winter theme.  Then I scoured my library until I found the perfect alphabet for personalization.

I made the twisted cord from some of the colors in the bouquet.  There's a lot of metallic DMC in this piece, which has it's ups and downs.  The final effect was worth the fraying frustration though.  The backing fabric is some that I'm had in my stash for at least a decade.  It was going to be a vest front for me, but I've gained a bit of weight since then.  Better to re-purpose it, especially for something fun.  The silvery leaves accent the metallic silver on the front perfectly.  In fact I drove myself crazy looking for it since I knew it was somewhere.

That's all for this week.  I'm not sure what direction I'll jump in for next week.  See you next time!

Colorful Totes

The first finish this week is called "Tidal Flats."  It's a late Christmas/early birthday gift for my MIL's twin sister.  I made an almost identical one for my MIL, which I'll post below.

The pattern I used is the "10 Strip Wonder Bag" by Suzanne Sievers' Designs.  I picked it and the Bali pop jelly roll of fabric up at one of the local quilt shops in town.

Full view of "Tidal Flats."

Side view of "Tidal Flats."

Full view of "Sandpiper Through the Water."

Side view of "Sandpiper Through the Water."

 As you can see, they are almost identical, save for the top row of fabrics being reversed in order and I used a different color of thread for the top-stitching along with a different decorative stitch.  Honestly it didn't feel right making one of these for one sister and not the other.  Especially when both of them love spending time on the beach and travel as much as possible.

My second finish this week is a bag for the girl FH's brother is engaged to.  She's a lot of fun to hang around with and I've turned her into a stitcher, so a pretty tote bag would be quite useful.  The fabrics for hers came from the same Bali pop as the twins' bags.  However the prints are lighter and more green and yellow.  In fact they made me think of snake skin and foliage, which is perfect since she keeps snakes as pets.  (For those concerned, the snakes are non-venomous and she used to work as the manage of an exotic pet shop.)  I call this one, "Snakes In the Trees."

"Snakes In the Trees," full view.

Button detail on "Snakes In the Trees."

Decorative stitching detail.

 There were a total of 40 strips of fabric in that Bali pop.  As the name states, you need 10 per bag.  The last bag from this Bali pop will be mine.  I'm hoping to have it finished as my project for next week.  It's pieced already, leaving the quilting and assembly. 

From the same pattern I also my a tote bag for my best girl-friend, who is a busy ICU nurse.  She loves the bright lime green that's en vogue again, and I'd bought these fabric strips with her in mind.  Personally I find the colors a little on the "eye-bleedingly bright" side, but she loves this bag.  This was an earlier finish, as it was her Christmas gift, but I thought I'd share anyway.  Oh and FH picked out the button for this one.  If you poke the picture on the right, you'll see I used two colors of thread on the top-stitching.  The regular quilting is done in blue whilst the decorative stitching in the narrow strip of blue is done in green.

"Super Groovy Tote," full view.

"Super Groovy Tote," close up of button and decorative stitching.

That's it for the first week of January.  I'm hoping to have my bag finished for next week.  I've also got a piece that I finished right after Christmas to show you.  See you next week!

**And in case you missed yesterday's post regarding the past year and new posting schedule, you may want to pop over here and take a look.

Breakdown and Resolutions

It's taken me a long time to be able to even think about writing this post.  Life for me has changed drastically since last April and I've had to make several changes along the way in order to progress.  Before I go into any details, I would like to state a few things.

1. This will be the one and only post about this topic.  The journey is difficult and private, but I felt I should explain my absence to my blog-friends.  A few of you have emailed me privately and gotten the run down already, so this will be old news along with new news.

2. This will be the only post that's made on a non-Sunday this year.  More on that is a bit.

3. For the animal lovers here, Pollux and Artie are still doing well.  They've been joined by a sweet little calico named Pixel.  I'll get to her further down.
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 Many of you know that I live with a few physical medical conditions.  They make my life a little harder in some ways, and easier in others.  I take them in stride. However I've never really talked about living with anxiety disorders.  It's not something I enjoying talking about randomly and honestly for a long time they were under control.  I live with GAD [Generalized Anxiety Disorder] and a mild (if one can call it that) form of PTSD [Post-traumatic stress disorder].  Without going into too many personal details, I will say that I was abused as a child.  The resulting anxiety was made worse by being on the lower rung of the pecking order in school and being bullied constantly.

Years of therapy when I was younger made all the difference in the world for me.  Back then the medications for anxiety were in their infancy and not covered by insurance.  They also had some interesting complications for individuals going through puberty.  And back then it was decided I didn't need them.  I wasn't as stressed and therapy alone taught me wonderful ways to combat my fears and actually live every day.

(Now of course the medication available for mental illness are a godsend.  They can help take away the brunt of the pain and anguish, leaving therapy and personal determination to deal with the rest.  I will state that not everyone with a mental illness has access to either therapy or medications, which I believe is a crying shame.  But that's not what this post is about.)

Anxiety is a funny thing.  It can creep up on you and sinuously wind deeper and deeper into your heart and mind.  It can be so subtle, the changes are unnoticeable even to those closest to you.  It can also hit you like a freight train loaded with bricks.  The panic, the chest pains, the sudden fear in seeing that your world is going to absolute hell around you.  The horrifying dreams in which you relived your abuses and cannot take control of the dream, no matter what you try.  It can be a mix of the two, creating an emotional roller coaster of fear.

Stress plays a huge part in controlled anxiety getting out of control.  And so I found myself loosing control of the beast, existing in a fog of fear and doubt, and having more and more external stresses heaped upon me.  More stress than someone without anxiety issues would want to handle: Friends severely ill, some passing away; my father's health declining; worrying about my mother's health as she takes on more of a parental role to her husband; money troubles from all the past veterinary bills; missing my lost critters more and more every day; FH's stress levels from working too hard for too long without a break; needing to find the time to finish projects, including the Panda Nursery and completely overhaul the Guild's webpage.  All this and more. 

As time went on, even the little every-day things became major stressors.  Getting the laundry washed, dried, AND put away before the shirts wrinkled.  Remembering to get Pollux's medications refilled on time, not to mention getting him to not vomit up said medications.  Artie's energy level and desire to play making him into more of a bully than a companion to Pollux.  Physically going to the grocery stores and dealing with the crowds of people. Picking up a needle to stitch when the trash needed going out, but it was pouring down rain and I'd left my raincoat in FH's car.  Trying to get the workroom organized so I could use it because I'd seen a neat how-to on another blog and wanted to play, but I was needed down south for several days.

In July I had a nervous breakdown.

It was all just too much.  And I couldn't handle it all on my own.  I also knew I couldn't make FH carry the weight alone.  He's my partner, not my doctor.  And I wanted my life back.  Simply existing through a day wasn't enough.  I wanted to live.

So I talked to our doctor and was given a short-term medication.  It's highly addictive and not meant to be taken for more than a few months straight or as a "rescue" during times of intense anxiety.  But it bought me time and gave me relief enough to do some research into other medications.  And to find a secular therapist in this area who specializes in my type of illness and who works with our insurance.  **As an aside, I won't be mentioning the specific medications, as every person's body chemistry is different.  What works for me may not work for someone else. 

We took a vacation in August to Copper Harbor, Michigan.  An actual vacation, the first in seven years, which was both good and bad for me.  Good because I could relax seeing FH relax and because life's about living.  Bad because I was worried about Pollux and Artie, and the house, and my parents, and because we were camping.  There was dirt.  Lots of dirt.  My dislike of dirt being anywhere near my bed was a difficult aspect of the trip.  However the scenery helped to make up for it.  That and the location was so remote, FH would have to drive up a mountain to call into work.  Needless to say, that only happened once so he could tell them there wasn't cell signal.  He relaxed a lot, which helped me relax.  Also our best friend was with us.  There were walks along beaches, toasted marshmallows sandwiched between chocolate mint cookies, and blueberry cobbler in the dutchy.  Also it let FH go and do things with someone when I just wanted to sit under a tree and read.  But we had some wonderful adventures on the trip, including getting pictures of Lambeau Field on our way up.  Happily our route took us right through Green Bay, WI.

When came home, fate had a surprise for me.  We'd been talking about getting another kitten to keep Artie company (and relieve pressure on Pollux) for a few weeks prior, but knew we should wait until after we got home from Michigan.  Besides, the pet sitter didn't need to deal with a kitten who wasn't sure of it's new environment on top of dealing with Artie who hates strangers and Pollux who hates being  medicated.  A couple of weeks after we came home, I received a text message from a friend.  Her daughter had found a kitten trying to get warm under the hood of a car.  A calico whose markings reminded my friend of Confetti's.  After she sent me a picture, FH knew the deal was made.  I drove 100 miles the next morning to get her and have her tested for FIV and leukemia.  The tests were negative and I brought her home.  She didn't have a name until later that night when we came up with Pixel.  She's been an important ray of sunlight and hope for me since then.

Shortly thereafter we (our doctor and I) started playing with new medications.  Firstly I had to wean off of the short-term drug.  The got interesting with nightmares, bursts of anxiety, and just not feeling well.  The first long-term medication we tried actually made me depressed as a side effect.  I didn't notice quite what was happening, because the anxiety wasn't there, and that's what we wanted.  However I wasn't making anything.  My doctor knew there was a problem when she walked into the exam room and I was playing solitaire on my phone instead of stitching.  We switched to another medicine that night and suddenly I felt like myself again.  It was like flipping a switch.  I could go to bed when FH did and get up before noon, I wanted to work on projects again, and the anxiety was more of a faded echo in the back of my head.  That was at the beginning of December.

It's important to remember that anxiety doesn't just affect you either.  It's something that everyone you love and who loves you has to deal with.  Dearest FH knew about my past before we even started dating.  He dealt with the fears, the night terrors, the few and far between days when I just couldn't stand the thought of being alone.  Now he's dealing with them more often.  Happily for both of us I am getting better.  He's watched me become the person I was all over again and be happy again.

I've had to make several changes in the way I do things.  I've had to remember how to say, "No, I can't do ____ right now."  I've had to make conscious efforts to use the almost forgotten techniques I learned in therapy all those years ago to calm myself down when the world starts to close in on me.  Things I used to do all the time, but over time got out of the habit of doing because I didn't have time. And honestly, I'd pushed the past out of my head because I didn't want it to own me.  That's part of where I went wrong for myself.  What I needed to do was grasp it with both hands, dig my nails into it, and own it instead.  It doesn't need to define me for me to own it either.  I just can't let myself forget that controlling it means owning it.

I know I will have good days and bad days.  Everyone does.  It's just that my bad days can be worse than the average person's in some ways.  The goals here is to make the bad days fewer and farther between and to not let the bad control me.

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This post isn't just about all the ups and downs.  It's also about my goals for this year.  They are as follows:

1.  Keep getting better.  Notice there is no timetable here.  It will happen as it happens, no sooner.  But every day I'll be working toward a positive direction.

2. Once a week I will finish some type of creative project, big or small it matters not.  It can be a single miniature, a roombox, a section of a dollhouse, a cross stitch, a quilt, playing with a new technique... you get the idea.  It doesn't matter what it is, what matters is a completed project and with it, a feeling of gratification. 

IF I happen to finish more than one project in a week, good for me.  But that doesn't mean the counter isn't reset on Sunday.  I will have to finish another one the following week.  It's time for a little tough love on myself.  I'm ready for it.

3. Every Sunday this year I will blog about the above mentioned project(s) that was finished during the week.  I will only be posting on Sundays as to limit the amount of pressure on myself to take pictures and write.  I'm hoping that by next year I'll be able to post more often, but for now once a week will be enough.  There will also be the occasional photo of my feline helpers of course.  One cannot work without snoop-ervision.

I just want to thank people for reading this wall of text.  It hasn't been easy to write.  Tomorrow I'll be starting my weekly Sunday post with a some gorgeous things I've finished this first week of January.

And to thank you again for putting up with the wall of text, here are a few pictures of Miss Pixel Pea.

-MiniKat

A Surprise from Aunt Pat

When I went over to Aunt Pat's on Saturday, she had a surprise for me.  A few years back she asked everyone in our mini group which of her scenes were our favorites, then she made a list to give to her attorney.  None of us thought anything about it after that, content in having her with us to play.

After another mini friend passed away and her family ignored her wishes regarding her miniatures, Pat apparently decided to go ahead and send everyone home with their favorites at the last Christmas party.  She said she'd rather see us enjoying her pieces now than worry if everything would be done to her instruction later.  Also it makes more room for her current projects.

So now I am the proud (and somewhat soggy from tears) owner of "Vermeer Vignette."  The box itself is a Houseparty Helper gift from San Jose, CA in 1993 and has been reworked.  (I helped cut the skylight.) Both dolls are by Pat Boldt, dressed and wigged by Aunt Pat. 

It still makes me giggle thinking about how we came up with the "seasoned serving wench" from a Mrs. Claus doll.  We must have sat for three hours trying to figure out her clothes and pose.

 I made the doll's pipe after the one she bought vanished (while we were both sitting there working... I think it bounced someplace strange and was sucked up by the hoover) and also the knife when she couldn't find one in her stash.  She made the loaf of bread in a class, but she didn't recall when.

The painting is an original oil done after Jan Vermeer's "Girl With A Pearl Earring" by D.J. Chol. 

 All of her pieces have a black and white cat in them, it's her signature.

 Here are some closeups of the delftware.

 

 If I'm remembering correctly, Aunt Pat was given these tulips as a birthday gift by Mary Ellis, IGMA Artisan in plants.  Mary has been a friend of Pat's for years.

I hope you enjoyed seeing this room.  It will be one of my greatest treasures for as long as I live.  The best part is that Aunt Pat's still around to make minis with.  In fact I'm trying to plan a trip down there to get some projects off her "Have Kat Do This" list.  ;-)

New Minis from the St. Louis Show

On Saturday FH drove us down to St. Louis for a day trip.  This time it was for fun and not because more things have been going wrong with my dad or any other family member.  Once we got to the hotel where the miniature show was being held, friends of ours came to pick him up for the day.  This left my friend that rode with us and I the car for the day.

Here are my treasures:

I knew I'd be needing my own pleaters since I can't  just pop 'round to Pat's to use hers, so I invested in all three sizes.

 Some tiny rick rack and some hat straw.

 This was something I couldn't possibly pass up.  A mammoth carved from mammoth ivory!

 I fell in love with this knitted Jemima Puddle Duck and while she was being wrapped up, I noticed this 1/48 scale teapot with a knit cozy.  Actually she had a selection, but this is the one that spoke to me.  I was wanting something more in the Quarter Scale Adobe room to make it look more real and this fit the bill.

 On my way to the door I passed by my favorite small scale animal sculptor.  She had these two cats that were destined to go into the Adobe as well.

 When I was done taking the above pictures, I decided it would be best to put the quarter scale things into their designated room.

 Once we were satisfied with our purchases, we went to lunch with my Aunt Pat and her cousin at La Bonne Bouche, my favorite French bistro.  It's also the place where we ordered our wedding cake. After lunch my friend and I killed some time at a needlework shop whilst Aunt Pat went back to the show for a few more items that she talked herself into over lunch.  Then we met back up at her home so my friend could see her minis. 

She had a big surprise in store for me that I'll tell you about next time.  See you then!

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Projects

In this case, it's even a miniature project.  Before you ask, no, the craft room is still a natural disaster.  I've been blissfully ignoring it in favor of taking a few things upstairs to the dining room table.  The weather has been too nice to spend all day in the storage room, storing fabric to de-stash.  That has to happen before the craft room becomes livable again.

Anyways, back to the minis!

Remember when I showed you my lamps?  Well I was given a really good reason to finish one recently, bumping it ahead of the Panda Nursery in my queue.  The Peoria Area Stitchers' Guild General Meeting always consists of a fun program in addition to sweets, show and tell, and the business portion.  Three of us have been asked to do the program on miniatures and miniature stitching.  My part of the program will focus on "Miniatures Aren't Just Dollhouses," and will feature a bag room, a converted trophy case, and one of my lamps.

I could only finish one for two reasons.  One, the second lamp's metal bits have fallen apart.  Remember the toy animals made of plastic that only stood up when you pushed a button and they fell over again?  Yeah, well the lamp's metal bits looks like one without it's button pushed.  The most important reason for not getting both done is I'm still looking for bits to fill the second one.  I had everything to fill the first.

So here's the finished lamp.

The bottom picture doesn't do the inside true justice, as there are layers upon layers of "stuff" stacked everywhere.  For some reason my camera didn't like trying to get photos of this scene.  For example, that big teddy bear is sitting on two old maps and there are books and records under his chair.  And behind the old Christmas tree is a croquet set an old cigar box filled with Confederate money.  Just some of the oddities and odds 'n ends found in this particular attic. There's plenty of room to stash other little things as I acquire them as well.   If I can ever get better interior photos, I will post them.
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Also for those of you keeping up with news about my dad, he's being released from the hospital to a nursing/rehab facility for two weeks or so.  Then he will be doing outpatient rehab. 

Out of the Woods

Dad has been stepped down from ICU, but he's still on the same in floor of the hospital. The doctor came and removed the drains from his incisions, and everything is looking good. His voice is still really hoarse from the tube in his throat, but he feels good enough to try and crack jokes.

He's having a good deal of pain, but actually the surgeons are happy about that as it means his nerve endings are finally getting feeling in them again. Just like the "pins and needles" feeling when you've sat too long except it's everywhere from the neck down.

He's been up and walking yesterday and today. 40 feet yesterday and a little further today. And he's able to swallow "real food" as opposed to liquids only like yesterday.

FH and I have come home, as there isn't much else for us to do down there at this point.  Mom will call me if she needs me again and FH has work tomorrow.  Thank you to everyone for your positive thoughts, prayers, and healing vibes.  I'm going to go collapse onto the couch and put my feet up.

Waiting

I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room, waiting to hear if my dad is going to survive surgery.  He's been in for three hours already, with at least another 2.5 expected.

If people have a moment and feel like saying a prayer, sending healing energies, thinking good thoughts, whatever, I know my family would appreciate it.

Still Here

The furniture moving/crafting integration has turned into full blown Spring Cleaning.  I decided that if I'm moving everything hither and yon I might as well get the cobwebs and dust dealt with.  It's slowing me down just a bit, but I think it's worth it.

I've been playing/working in the furnace room getting shelves put up, boxes sorted through, and things on the shelves.  The craft area is now also my office, so everything for correspondence now gets shuffled into the mix.  I've still got containers of fabric and yarn upstairs that need to come down once I have places for them.  Hence the shelving. 

The cleaning isn't even the time consuming bit.  There are about 5 or 6 more "boxes of stuff" to go through in the the furnace room.  The more that gets out, the more room we have to put things away.  One of the problems in the craft area are the bags and boxes of "my mom/granny/great aunt/neighbor passed away and she did that stuff you do, so here" that I get from time to time.  I have 2 or 3 of those left to sort through.  I really hate those for the simple fact of I feel like a ghoul.  Who am I to sort through someone's scraps and treasures and decide what I will deign to keep?  I wised up and stopped accepting things like that, but I still have to go through what's here.  And my "filing system" (put papers to keep in a crate next to the computer desk) can finally be dealt with since I can actually get to the filing cabinet now.  That will be an afternoon's work by itself. 

I'll be headed south in a few weeks too.  My father needs to have surgery.  It's one of those "darned if you do and damned if we don't" situations.  The surgery is risky thanks to his age and other health issues, but if he doesn't have it he's at greater risk.  So he's decided to go through with it.  The family is preparing for the worst in the background while hoping for the best on the surface.  At least my house will be clean and wonderful when I get back.

Oh, the cats are fed up with the weather here and I can't say I blame them.  It was raining this morning, then the sun came out for a while.  Then it started hailing, followed by snow.  I think I can handle locusts, but if we get frogs I figure they'll be frozen and I really don't want to explain that to the insurance adjustor when we call about a new roof.

Anyways, I'm going to get back to it.  Or else it will never get done.

Musical Roses: The Last of January's Work

Here's the last picture from the previous update:

Now for the next four days worth:

My goal here was to create spaces that could be filled in while riding in a car or while something interesting was on PBS.  In the last picture there are five such spaces.

Day 3 of the Chaos

This is what the workroom looked like before I went to bed Thursday night/Friday morning:

The laundry basket is full of "stuff" from the sewing table when it was upstairs.  I moved the miniature books to the light-colored bookcase and the fiber and textile books are in the darker bookcase.  It's difficult to tell, but the big table in the back has less junk on it.  There's still quite a bit to sift through though.

Patterns come down next and get filed.  I stacked both small filing cabinets in order to save some room.  Then I get to sort through the table and random boxes filled with things from the old dresser that used to occupy the back wall.  Oh and reclaim my laundry basket.

Back to Musical Roses Again

The last time I showed progress, I was here:

Here's the stitching for the three days after:

I wasn't able to really sit and work, so the progress is very slow.

Treat Break!

For the Guild meeting on Tuesday I made these luscious things.

Sorry about the flash. 

Anyways, these are my first attempt at Bakerella's cake balls.  If you'd like to see the recipe and instructions, follow this link.  The only change I made was to placate the choco-holics in the Guild.  Instead of cream cheese frosting, I used chocolate.  Once they were set I dipped them in both milk and dark chocolate.  Then I drizzled white chocolate and little heart sprinkles everywhere.

Controlled Chaos

Of a fashion anyway.

Certain circumstances (of a personal nature) have dictated that I should recombine my sewing room with the miniature room again. 

On the upside:
* this is a much larger space than what I had to work with in the old house
* I won't feel cut off from FH in the evenings when he's home and I need to sew
* I won't need to use the dining room table for layouts and cutting anymore, allowing that room to stay de-cluttered easier
* no more pausing the movie and running upstairs to fetch something I've forgotten for a stitching project

The downside:
 I have to completely clean AND reorganize everything, including the storage room in order to pull this off.

Day 1 of reorganizing:

Day 2 of the same:

The sewing table, a small bookshelf, and the sewing machines are the only remaining "large" items that still need to move down here.  Books, supplies, tubs of fabric and yarn, patterns, etc still need to come down as well.  I'm attempting to work on what's down here first, at least until I need that little bookshelf to put things on it.  I'm also taking the time to cruise through chunks of stash and get rid of things I really will never use or have no interest in keeping.

It will probably be sometime next week before the space is usable for anything.  Then I get to rearrange the storage room and put up shelves so I can get to the tubs of fabric and yarn, and really just about anything in there, without drowning in boxes.